Just being at Home.
http://www.thesouthasian.org/archives/000301.html
I read this article and it reminded me of my behaviour in the US in general and my last two restaurant visits in particular. I went to a Puerto rican restaurant last night and then went to a small Indian Dhabi today. After reading the article, I realized I din't thank the guy who served me at the Indian place but did thank the person at the Puerto rican place. I always make it a point to thank everyone who does a service to me - the bus driver, the toll booth collector, the clerk at the groc et al. And I have nothing against desis or the service provided. Yet I failed to thank him. Why?
The answer might lie in what I did in India. I never thanked the bus conductor in India. I never did once say a thank you to the person at the counter in India. Not that I was thankless to them. Compared to what the bus drivers do here, the bus drivers and conductors in India go through hell. Yet me saying thank you to them would have been strange. May be it would have made them immensely happy. Don't know. I just dint thank them. No one I knew thanked them. I was grateful to their service. Yet dint openly acknowledge it. Not that I dint thank because others dint. I just assumed they dint expect it. And I just dint clarify my assumption.
To me, its doing whats expected. The waiter at the Indian restaurant knows what an American customer expects as service and what we as Indians expect as service in an Indian restaurant. When I go to an Indian restaurant, I expect authentic Indian food. I really don't care how the service is, as long as it is not bad. An American going to an Indian restaurant expects a nice Indian experience. And that includes good service, a small talk on the food, etc. By being courteous to the American customer, the waiter just made sure the american further elevates the opinion of the restaurant and Indians in general. And to me, the server was at home with fellow Indians but was being at his best to the 'guest'. He probably knows we would understand if he wasn't as nice as we would like the person serving us to be, given the rush. He also knows, may be, the american cant tell between the various levels of authenticity of Indian food and he is going to choose his Indian restaurant primarily on the service.
When we nod or smile and don't at a fellow Indian, to me, its analogous to what the waiter did. We don't mean to be discourteous. We don't mean to feel ashamed or any thing. We just dont want to be so formal all the time. Do we put a napkin on our lap and eat with a fork, knife and spoon at home all the time?
I read this article and it reminded me of my behaviour in the US in general and my last two restaurant visits in particular. I went to a Puerto rican restaurant last night and then went to a small Indian Dhabi today. After reading the article, I realized I din't thank the guy who served me at the Indian place but did thank the person at the Puerto rican place. I always make it a point to thank everyone who does a service to me - the bus driver, the toll booth collector, the clerk at the groc et al. And I have nothing against desis or the service provided. Yet I failed to thank him. Why?
The answer might lie in what I did in India. I never thanked the bus conductor in India. I never did once say a thank you to the person at the counter in India. Not that I was thankless to them. Compared to what the bus drivers do here, the bus drivers and conductors in India go through hell. Yet me saying thank you to them would have been strange. May be it would have made them immensely happy. Don't know. I just dint thank them. No one I knew thanked them. I was grateful to their service. Yet dint openly acknowledge it. Not that I dint thank because others dint. I just assumed they dint expect it. And I just dint clarify my assumption.
To me, its doing whats expected. The waiter at the Indian restaurant knows what an American customer expects as service and what we as Indians expect as service in an Indian restaurant. When I go to an Indian restaurant, I expect authentic Indian food. I really don't care how the service is, as long as it is not bad. An American going to an Indian restaurant expects a nice Indian experience. And that includes good service, a small talk on the food, etc. By being courteous to the American customer, the waiter just made sure the american further elevates the opinion of the restaurant and Indians in general. And to me, the server was at home with fellow Indians but was being at his best to the 'guest'. He probably knows we would understand if he wasn't as nice as we would like the person serving us to be, given the rush. He also knows, may be, the american cant tell between the various levels of authenticity of Indian food and he is going to choose his Indian restaurant primarily on the service.
When we nod or smile and don't at a fellow Indian, to me, its analogous to what the waiter did. We don't mean to be discourteous. We don't mean to feel ashamed or any thing. We just dont want to be so formal all the time. Do we put a napkin on our lap and eat with a fork, knife and spoon at home all the time?
posted by d'na | 10:07 PM
2 Comments:
nice blog. i feel u should put a seperate post about you your full biodata. i came to your blog through a link. was interested to read ur posts. i am from tamil nadu.
take care and have a great time.
Thanx for stopping by. Gald that you like the posts. I will do what you suggested some day soon.
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